You’re probably wondering, “What in the actual fuck am I looking at here??”

Well I’m here to tell you.  Obviously.  It’s the result of a fun group game that my office played during our holiday party last week, and I thought I would attempt to alter it to accommodate upcoming New Year’s Eve shenanigans.

This game was easy: each person gets a paper plate (like, real paper otherwise you can’t draw on them too well) and a pen/marker.  The plate goes flat on your head and you have to draw the scene described to you.  In the case of my holiday party, the directions were:

• Draw a line.  That is your floor.  Oh man this is easy, I can probably do this.
• Draw a Christmas tree.  On the floor.  Ok…..I put my arm down after drawing the floor to drink my beer, now I can’t find the FUCKING floor…
• Draw a mantle/fireplace.  On the floor.  Beside the tree.  Holy…ok I didn’t move my arm this time, surely I can manage to not set this tree on fire.  I’m even making a chimney for this bitch so the fire has somewhere to vent…drawing some flames too….man I’m totally rocking this…
• Draw a star on top of the tree.  We’re going BACK TO THE TREE???  How do I find it…
• Draw a stocking on the mantle.  OMFG nooooooooooooooo…
• Draw a present under the tree.  Screw this, I’m drawing a square and chugging the rest of my beer…

After that shit was done, all our arms were achy but we were dying with laughter.  There’s a point system for scoring the drawing, and we had fun gifts for the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place drawers.

Here’s my idea for a New Year’s version of the game:

• Draw a line.  That is your floor.
• Draw another line.  That is your ceiling.  We celebrate inside around here, too fucking cold for that outdoor shit.
• Draw a table with drinks on it.  Gotta have them drinks.
• Draw a disco ball on the ceiling.  It’s a fucking party, after all.
• Draw at least one person on the floor, not in the drinks.  If they’re in the drinks, they’re too drunk.
• Draw “11:59” on the wall above the drink table.  It’s a countdown, obviously.

The point system could be something like this:

• Two points if your floor and ceiling don’t touch.  That’s just a given.
• Two points if your drink table touches the floor at all.  Gravity is real.
• One additional point for each drink touching the table.  Shots shots shots.
• Two points if your disco ball is below the line of the ceiling.  Preeeeety.
• Two points if your person is not in the fucking drinks.  Dammit, Sharon.
• Three points if your person is dancing.  Get down with your bad self.
• One point for each additional person on that zesty dancefloor.  Friends are cool.
• Two points if “11:59” is legible in any way.  That’s really all you can expect on this.

Y’all will have to let me know how this goes if you try it, because I don’t actually know enough people outside of work to try this and our office is closed for the holiday.

May this dumpster-fire of a year come to a relatively peaceful close tomorrow, and I’ll catch y’all on the flipside.