month of thanks, day 29, memories

I’m not spending Christmas in my basement, the way I spent Thanksgiving, so I wasn’t planning to put up a tree this year.  However instead of remaining in the depressed funk that is the last couple of weeks, I went and got myself this adorable fake tree.

I had a tree with many years of Christmas memories attached to it, but the Great Purge of 2017 resulted in that tree being left behind.  Yes, it had a slightly broken stand that made it less than sturdy and the new model of the same damned tree is about 100x easier to put together, but had I known I’d want to decorate for myself this year I would have found space for that stupid little bitch of a tree to make the move with me.  Alas, I had to replace it.  The rest of the decorations were a blast to put up, though.

Jill and I bought the star and the skirt our first Christmas together.  Until then, I had  just rigged a particularly spiky-looking ornament to the top with lights in lieu of a real star and I rocked the nekkid undercarriage look.  I like to think that purchase was one of my first steps to being a real adult, which we all know fucking sucks, but remembering those times with Jill tonight was just delightful.  That bitch loves Christmas, and we always made a whole event of decorating beforehand and spending time opening presents together as our own little family unit.

All of the ornaments on my tree were mailed to me in a Heinz ketchup box, six years ago perhaps, by my mother whom I had only recently rediscovered via her sister and Facebook after a life of never knowing who she was.  Most are just normal ornament sets, but there is a keepsake in there that I vaguely remember from my childhood of Belle and Cogsworth playing in the snow.  You can’t make shit like that up, and I am so thankful that she kept these things for so many years and even more thankful that we were able to reconnect.

There is an ornament somewhere on that tree that was given to me the first time I spent Christmas with my SO’s family in 2015.  The SO and I met online, and the first time we met in person I had driven 17 hours nonstop to another state and we met up at 10:30pm in the parking lot of an In-N-Out.  His parents were super paranoid about the whole situation, because the internet is scary and evil, and they were calling me “crazy internet lady” because surely all I could want with their son was his sperm.  By the end of that first trip, I was telling his mom about my house back in Colorado, my roommate, and the spare room we have that’s empty like my womb.  Four months later they were labeling my Christmas presents (affectionately) CIL. That’s where I’ll be this Christmas, and I can’t wait to see those crazy bitches again.

I’m thankful to have these memories, these flashbacks to the good ole days.  The last few weeks have been difficult, and tonight was a nice reprieve from that while I was reminded that I have such a wonderful group of people that I call my family.  

And now, I have to hope that Miss Sinon is as perfect in this aspect as she is in every other.  This is our first Christmas together, as I only adopted her in June.  I mean, I wouldn’t mind seeing her in the tree because I think it would be cute as fuck, but I don’t think this cheap piece of shit could support her weight.  I’ll keep y’all posted on that.


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